you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
