my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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