you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
