return my video game
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
