is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
