id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just google imaged poop.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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