Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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