D3 body, D1 cock
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
