i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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