I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
