Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
