Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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