She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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