Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
