I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
