Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
This house was built for laser tag.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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