I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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