Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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