just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
