Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
