Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
