next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
