I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
