if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
