A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Congratulations! We have a period
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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