hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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