Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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