omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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