Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize