Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
