Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
