i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
