I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
