he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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