My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
