real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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