Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
