Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
