I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
