ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
