Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
