He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
