If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
