Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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