So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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