Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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