it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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