she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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