there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
