I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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