Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
