i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize