Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
