idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
