do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
