are you so shy because you have an std?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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