Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
