These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize