can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
