I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
operation harelip BJ is a go
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
