Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
