I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
