:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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